In current news: Vendor searching was almost the death of this Michigan bride...

I have some FANTASTIC news. I am done searching for vendors!
Venue – Check! Includes food so DOUBLE check! Plus, they work with fabric/chair people so all I had to do was tell them want I wanted…. TRIPLE check!
Officiant – Check!
Dress place – Check!
Photography – Check!
Bakery – Tasty check!
Flowers – Check! AND, under budget. Double point bonus for me.
DJ – Check!
Hair/makeup – Check!

Before I found all my vendors I felt like this:

My favorite adopted neice, Lucy, and I with not so happy faces...

Now I feel like this:

Pure joy!!! Lisa and Matt, your baby is fabulous.

I am congratulating myself with a glass of red wine as we speak.

However, getting to this day was not an easy one…

The other week I almost decided to forget about having a “super awesome” wedding and just send out some invitations and call it a day. It seems so much simpler to say “I do” and then eat some cake that you got at the grocery store that morning. Who really needs fancy flowers or the best DJ in town? In the end, you’re married no matter what.

Why was I feeling like this? Well, I found it very frustrating to try and find all the vendors for the right price. I love DIY projects, but I definately found that vendor searching made me anxious and/or frustrated. I absolutely hate trying to figure out whether I think someone is worth the price that they are charging. I hate bartering. (I hate to stereotype, but Wes should never let me go buy a car by myself, haha.) I hate trying to determine if someone is trustworthy. And, when you think you might have found some wonderful people to work with… BAM…you get the news that they are already booked for your wedding day. I can live with not having the best DJ in town, but it feels terrible to start the search all over and go through the process of accessing the quality of someone else. Note to all June brides: it is not too early to look for vendors! EVER! Tell your fiance I said so. On top of it all, it feels so rude to say, "You're great, but we decided to go with someone else".

Then, I realized why I love planning the wedding (i.e. customized with tons of details and hands-on projects). I realized that, while I may be the only person who truly cares about having handmade invitations, I get to share the time making things like that with my family and friends. Living in NJ, I don't get to see all of you that often. For instance, finding bridesmaids dresses gave me the perfect excuse to pester my friends and go to Michigan to hang out with them. I get to call my maid of honor anytime I want because she agreed to be my maid of honor. My mom, Wes’s mom and I all spent a wonderful week together bonding over wine and wedding inspiration photos. Wes realized that when I ask him to do a wedding project with me, what it really means is that we are going to spend some extra time with each other doing something other than watching TV. I love spending that time with people and I love that I can type up all my thoughts and share them with whoever does care about my experience making 200 fabric flowers that day. And, all the effort I spent on finding great vendors is leading up to one terrific party. We will get to share at least 6 priceless, PRICELESS, hours with family and friends from all over the country. So, the personalized super awesome wedding is back on!

Thank you to everyone for being a part of this experience and a part in our lives (mushy, I know, but weddings are supposed to about mushy love stuff, right?).

Where shall we wed?

I feel like I got ahead of myself! Here I am talking about wedding outfits and I haven’t even told you WHERE we are getting married. That’s because finding bridesmaids dresses was a lot more fun than finding a place.

Finding a place to get married was quite the experience. I have mentioned that we really loved a place in Florida called Deering Estate.

Deering Estate in Florida

Relaxed and beautiful. We had decided to get married in Michigan, though, so it was our goal to find a place in the Great Lake State that made us feel like this place did.

How to book a wedding venue:

Step 1. Make a preliminary guest list. And by preliminary I mean, a list that includes everyone you seriously want to invite minus the yet-to-be-born babies. 

Step 2. Google, explore wedding websites and make a list of places that you like AND that will fit all of your guest. Do not visit places that are either too big or too small. I am really glad that we made sure to do this. Most places do not tell you how expensive they are on their websites, so it is a little difficult to know whether they are in your budget or not.

Step 3. Call and visit all those places. Does this sound terrible? Because it was.

Step 4. Get serious about one place.

That place was Meadow Brook Hall.

Meadow Brook Hall in Michigan

It is such a beautiful place. The house/castle is historic and the grounds are so lovely. There’s a big white tent outside where you have unlimited space to do what you want. It was also at the very tippy-top of what we wanted to spend.

Come December 2010, I contacted them to reserve our wedding date and put down a deposit. The person I had met with when we took our initial tour was on maternity leave at the time, and my experience with this new person was terrible. In order to make the price work for us, I had made some cuts here and there. For instance, I was going to use cupcakes instead of cake to avoid a “cake cutting” fee. All of my cuts were not okay with this lady. Instead of calling it a cake cutting fee, it was described to me as a caking “handling” fee so I still had to pay it. Sounds stupid to me. What do you think? The “it” place quickly became something else to me:

As we were driving to Michigan to spend Christmas with my family, I emailed our second-pick place to see what their contract would be like. I didn’t consider this place to be our first-pick mostly because my friend had her reception there and I didn’t want to copy her. I am not sure why I ever overlooked the beauty in this place.

Waldenwoods

Personal Photo

This place is Waldenwoods. Beautiful and relaxed.

Over the course of that 12 hour drive to Michigan. I realized that Meadow Brooks Hall wouldn’t work with me the way that I needed. Wes said something to me during that drive about how it would be nice for our wedding to be about us and not the place we are having our wedding at. I agree. Meadow Brook Hall would have made the wedding about them, not us. It didn’t help Meadow Brook’s cause when I emailed the woman at Meadow Brook Hall to tell her that the place was becoming out of our price range so we decided to go elsewhere and she emailed back to say “We understand that Meadow Brook isn’t for everyone…” Did I just make that sentence sound mean in my head?

Overtime, it has become increasingly apparent that Waldenwoods was the right choice all along in so many ways. The people at Waldenwoods are helpful beyond words. The view is stunning when the sun goes down over the lake that is not but 50 feet away from a big white lodge. Flowers grow all around the lodge. It is like going to northern Michigan without the drive. All of this would have been worth a big fancy price, but it is less expensive as well. Also, we recognize now that we want a wedding with simple and refreshing charm and Waldenwoods can give us that. That is probably why they were voted one of The Knot's 2011 Best of Weddings top pick in Michigan.

Waldenwoods makes everyone happy! Even the moms:

See the big bright windows of the lodge?

Lesson learned: the people who you work with matter.

Step 5. Drink a glass of wine and congratulate yourself on making your first big wedding-related decision!

I'm too sexy for a tux

The articulate and handsome Wesley has now introduced his group of stand-up guys. I would just like to say: I adore this group of guys. Adore. Especially you, Josh W.!

Now, how do we dress the MEN? I am sure all of them would prefer to don something close their usual dress for our wedding:

Just kidding! I have requested that the wear something a little more traditional.

For sure, the wedding industry over prices EVERYTHING and is filled with scams. But, in my opinion, the biggest crappy thing the wedding industry does is exploit the groomsmen by making them wear tuxes. The poor groomsmen have to wear whatever the bride tells them to wear because they love the groom. In addition, tuxes are expensive, so the guys usually get stuck renting a tux that doesn’t fit right, cost way too much to be a rental, and has been wore by possibly hundreds of other men. The groomsmen at most of the weddings I have been to have worn some quality tuxes, though! However, by the time you spend money on all the bells and whistles to get a nice-looking tux, you might have well bought a nice suit!

Now, there’s an idea... What if the guys wore suits!?! Hear me out…I believe this is a good idea because:

1. They are less fancy and since our wedding shindig isn’t a black tie event, that works out very well. (It is a cocktail attire affair, fyi!) Random fact: the difference between tuxes and suits are that tuxes have silk incorporated into the jacket/pant somewhere. Who knew?

2. They would be new! BIG plus.

3. The guy gets to keep it!

4. Mens Wearhouse and Jos. A. Bank are always having ridiculous sales so we can get a good price. So, if the one of the guys hated the suit then he shouldn’t feel so obligated to ever wear it again. But seriously, what is there to hate about a standard sexy charcoal suit? J

5. They will be new! Did I say that already?
6. Men in suits are goooood looking! See below:

From theknot.com

Kristen Taylor Photography

:) I heart Ryan Reynolds

But I like my groom a lot more! A pic of him and my lovely to-be MIL taken at Wes's mom's cousin's daughter's wedding... better known as Kristen who is now married to Paul. Yes, Wes's family is huge and yes, they are all super close. It is pretty awesome!

A pic from the Faris Wedding in Kentucky! What great looking guys!

So, how about it? Do you think we should go with suits?

A few more wonderful people

Hey all! I just got to Finland a few days ago! I know, it is crazy. We have a little over 10 months until the wedding which is prime planning time and I am off gallivanting in Europe. What was I thinking!?!?! Good news, though... we almost have all of our wedding vendors booked. I got a lot of the big planning stuff done this summer before I left. I have much to tell you.

But, that must wait because I have an important message from the groom. Since I got to talk about my some of my wonderful family and friends so should Wes! So, without further ado here's Wes to tell you about some of the important people in his life standing up for him in the wedding:

Wes says....

"Before I go into specifics on the great guys that fill out my portion of the wedding party, I want to emphasize how truly blessed I feel to have so many very good friends and family members in my life.  I think that I could easily have picked 20 men and women to stand up next to me if it wouldn’t have made the wedding photos so unmanageable and probably single-handedly caused a run on the market in gray cloth (for the bridal party outfits) that may have succeeded in sending us into the back half of a double-dip recession.  Being the stalwart patriot that I am, I had to sacrifice for America, and identify only a few of the many people who I’ve been lucky to experience life with. I am incredibly grateful that they’ve agreed to come to Michigan from all over the country to stand with me on the most important day of my life.

BEST MAN: JOSH (Florida)

One of two Joshua Davids in the wedding party, Josh is my best and “longest-serving” friend (yeah, it is literally work sometimes to willingly deal with me regularly).  Like all the people on this list, he’s an all-around great guy.  Additionally, his and my personalities are particularly complimentary.  I can name countless times where we almost got into BIG trouble due to all the hilarious, reckless, and fun thoughts that reside within his brain, but where we narrowly avoided most of the negative consequences of our actions due to my quick-thinking and slightly greater threshold of risk-avoidance for situations causing severe injury, illness, or death.  I love the kid like another brother, and my high school years in particular would have suffered if we hadn’t met.  One of my few regrets over the last 10 years has been living too far away to be able to regularly hang out with him. Despite all the time removed though, when we are able to meet, whether in Miami, Orlando, Nassau, Grand Cayman, or Cozumel, it’s like nothing has changed.  It’s the way I expect it to be between him and I for the rest of our lives.

GROOMSMAN: JEFF (North Carolina)

“Dis how dey know you”!  It doesn’t matter whether you call him JDM21, Mill-town, or Millaire; everyone knows Jeff is rolling to his own beat (of course he’s doing what I can best describe as several rounded horizontal fist pumps during that time).  Jeff and I have been great friends since our freshman year at Duke.  He’s an incredibly thoughtful and welcoming person that I may never have gotten to know as well as I have had the honor to if not for the trajectory of one golden-winged, and subsequently tarnished and uneaten, french fry at Elmo’s in Durham.  He’s also one of the most competitive and imaginative friends I have, and we are sure to hold a ten-event competition we refer to as “The Decathlon” each time we meet up that includes some known and some lesser known (or altogether-made-up-on-the-spot) challenges to face off in mano-a-mano.  As one of Durham County’s finest, and one hell of a model American, I hope he knows that I’ll always hold the laces out for him, as I’m sure he’ll do for me.

GROOMSMAN: ECK (Utah)

There’s a reason why “Cinco de Ecko” has become one of my favorite days of the year.  For those of you who don’t know, it’s thought that the Germans who originally laid claim to this date named it “Cinco de Mayo” but now it’s mostly just remembered as Eck’s birthday- at least I think that’s why all the mexicanos and Parkers at Cosmic Cantina get so geeked up for it.  I’ve known Eck, like Jeff, since my freshman year at Duke.  Eck is a stand-up guy and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. He is one of my favorite people to kick around ideas with. We spent a lot of time philosophizing through New England and the Canadian Maritimes, two weeks before our graduate school days began, as we made our first treks to Acadia National Park, the Bay of Fundy, and Cape Bretton, Nova Scotia.  While our thorough conversations almost never result in an accord, we did both pass on trying the McLobster sandwich in New Foundland.  I’m glad to call him one of my best friends.

GROOMSMAN: EGAN (Oregon)

Someone get this kid a mike at the reception! My boy “E” knows more lyrics to more songs than anyone- I guarantee it.  Feel free to challenge him at the DJ booth.  More than anything, I think Egan and I just get each other.  He’s a genuine, hard-working, family man who knows what he wants from life and is primed to take it.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the great times we’ve spent together from skiing Beaver Creek and Vail, to hanging out in his home state of New Jersey, or when he’s come down to MIA.  One of my all-time favorite nights took place with Egan and I living like high-rollers on South Beach, with courtside seats at the Triple A and VIP club tickets, becoming part of Dwyane Wade’s inner circle (literally), and staying at Nick Arison’s place overlooking Biscayne Bay.  I love this kid. 

GROOMSMAN: ZAC (New Jersey)

Zac has been my best friend at Rutgers since we lived on Jones Avenue as members of the same cohort in the Graduate Program in Ecology and Evolution.  He’s one of the nicest and most accommodating people I’ve ever met.  I have always been able to rely on him to go with me to the Golden Rail or Corner Tavern, chat about our research, gossip about the goings-on in our department, or head to NYC or Atlantic City.  He and I had a tremendous ongoing beer pong series that got to well over 300 games that first year of grad school though I can’t quite recall our head-to-head record or much else really from umm... two-thousand and..?  I do, however, remember the Ice Bowl Series, a best-of-seven played in conditions that would make Lambeau shiver.  Our beers were freezing in the cups within minutes of being poured! (Don’t worry honey, I think I pulled out the series win in 6...) Since then we’ve seen a lot of people and fine drinking establishments come and go but I’m confident the scarlet bonds we’ve forged here in Central Jersey will always remain strong.   

USHER: BRIAN (Minnesota)

My older brother is flat-out an amazing guy.  He’s an accomplished businessman and an even more accomplished and loving father to my four beautiful (and loud) nieces and nephews.  I’ve always admired him- after all he was my big bro.  But he has always been a great example to me of integrity and courage.  Life may not always go as you’ve planned it, but if you charge ahead with dedication and hard work, you may well just land on a pretty special path anyway- I learned that through Brian.  Because of our age difference and the miles that have often physically separated us, we have not always been able to be as close as I would like, but I’m looking forward to making sure that the family Megan and I will soon start together is every bit as loving and hectic as his so that they’ll fit right in together during many anticipated visits and holidays.

USHER: LANDON (Florida)

My little brother is pretty special in his own right.  He’s super talented, and always ends up being good at nearly everything he decides to apply himself to- drumming, fishing, wrestling, track, pool, the list goes on and on.  I have always enjoyed our time together, whether it was playing basketball in the driveway, running routes with a football in the street, or going fishing and lobstering in the Keys. He’s also been really helpful with my research, whether it was his helping my plant surveying efforts at Deering Estate or Camp Owaissa Bauer, or serving as gator bait (just kidding!) while catching sunfish and spotted tilapia in Big Cypress. I’ve also always appreciated the fact that he looks up to me the same way I look up to Brian.  I am so excited to see the kind of man he grows up to be over the next 10 years. "