One dress, two dress, three dress, four.

Sorry I have been so absent from the blog! I spent some quality time at home in Michigan and then in Miami. In Michigan, we got tons of wedding stuff done!

Something I was really excited to do in MI was to hang out with Colby and Rachel and go pick out bridesmaid dresses. Everyone in my wedding party has different taste so I decided to choose a designer, fabric and color and then let the girls pick out their own dress.

We started off at Brides by Demetrios in Troy where I purchased my wedding dress. I tried it on so my future mother in-law could see it in person and so I could see how awesome my shoes looked with my dress. Trust me, it looks awesome. Demetrios carried a few bridesmaid lines I was interested: Dessy and Alfred Sung. We started with the Dessy chiffon dresses, which was a good place to start. Rachel walked out first in this dress, which looked like it was meant for her (minus the shockingly bright yellow color).

Colby also found a few numbers that she looked super in! After seeing the color swatches, I liked the idea of these dresses being in charcoal gray.

Then, we moved on to Alfred Sung.

Sorry for the purple splotch on the pic. I am in the pic wearing my wedding dress and I am keeping it a secret because I like the idea of keeping it a secret! I will give you a hint... it is white...whitish.)

These dresses have a more shiny appearance and came off very “little girlish” and too “bridesmaidy”. Yes, bridesmaidy is a word. It was obvious very quickly, that these dresses clashed with my dress style. Mom, future Mom in-law, Colby, Rachel and I all voted these down.

We had some lunch and moved to a dress shop that shall remain nameless. This shop was horrible. Although they had a large selection of dress, the shop was dirty looking and the staff was not particularly helpful. At Demetrios, the saleswoman was super helpful and pulled all of our dresses for us. And on top of those minor things wrong with the nameless shop, when we first arrived, there was another bride upset because the shop had suggested to her to order a size that was completely wrong. The bride could not fit into her dress and the shop refused to take responsibility. Even more so, after the bride left, the sales staff continued to talk badly about the bride right in front of us. So. Be careful, about who you decide to work with! Sometimes it is worth spending a little bit more to go to a nicer shop.

All of that didn’t really matter since I planned on ordering the bridesmaid dresses online from frenchnovelty.com. It has amazing prices and if you want they will make sure all of your dresses come from the same dye lot. Knowing that we were just there to look, we checked out some Bill Levkoff dresses.

These dresses also came in a beautiful charcoal gray color.

I felt really good about bridesmaid dresses at this point. Plus, we ended the day seeing our other friend, Bridesmaid Lisa, and the adorable baby Lucy.

What do you think? You like the easy breezy chiffon dresses?

Dressing the maids

So, I had to introduce the maids because we are going to talk FASHION.

Next week, I will be going with two of my lovely maids, Colby and Rachel, plus the moms to look at some dresses for them. Thus, I have to get a more concrete idea of what I would like them to wear. And Josh, no, you will not be wearing a dress.

Since our wedding isn’t going to be super formal (cocktail attire) I would like the ladies to have knee length dresses. I honestly don’t want them to look stupid although it is tempting to make them wear something like this:

Ha! I have looked through 1,000 bridesmaid dress pics. And, it seems we could go a few different ways. First, I could pick one dress and make all of them wear it because I am a bridezilla.;;">

After Six, From Dessy.com

But, that seems unappealing because all my ladies are different. I love them for their differences so why not play that up? They could all wear a similar dress in the same color and fabric. I would then let them pick the style and whatever shoes and jewelry they wanted.

Alfred Sung, all from Dessy.com

Or, I could give them some rules and then send them out to pick out their own dress so it would hopefully end up something like this:

From greenweddingshoes.com

I like, but I have heard from other brides that their bridesmaids hated this third option. It seemed that it puts a lot of pressure on the girls to go hunting for a dress that fit the style and color scheme of the wedding… and who has the time to do that when it isn’t your own wedding. So, I am leaning toward option 2. I would like it if the dresses were gray/pewter so that their purple flowers would pop against their dresses. But I am open to purple dresses, too. We’ll see what happens!

What do you think I should do? What did you do for your wedding?

Representin' the bride, yo.

I would like to introduce you to my maids plus an usher!

Colby and I have been friends since high school when we were in color guard together. We happened to apply to the same college, Albion College, so I approached her one day and asked if she would like to room together. Ever since, she has been one of my best buds. Most of the summer before starting college I was at her house or we were going on 3am Meijer runs shopping for nothing in particular. She has always been someone I can lean on. She is the Yin to my Yang. I love how spontaneous she is… whether it was rearranging out dorm furniture in the middle of the night or playing pranks on our neighbors. She picked me up from a lot of low times and we have shared some of the happiest times in my life. It only made sense to ask her to be my maid of honor!

Josh will also be representin' that day! Yes, he’s male. Josh and I have been friends since middle school. He knows more about me than anyone because we have been through so much together. I know it is a bit unconventional to have a male stand up on the bride’s side, but it wouldn’t be the same without him. He can always make me laugh and he is the most loyal person I know. If I needed him, he would fly across the world just because I asked. No joke. It mattered to me the most what Josh thought of Wes when Wes and I first started dating because I value Josh’s opinion so much.

My big sister, Nicole, is also one of my maids. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that she agreed to be in my bridal party. We didn’t always get along, but I love her so much. As sisters sometimes do, we tease each other…but I will tell you what, she will never let anyone else say anything bad about me. I looked up to her quite a bit growing up. She is incredibly beautiful and creative and I am lucky that I get to bug her to help out with some of my wedding crafts. Seriously, you give her some yarn, a stick and some glue and she can work wonders!

Lisa is a friend from college. She has graciously agreed to be a maid even though she is super busy in med school and taking care of her baby, Lucy. Isn’t Lucy freakin’ cute? Lisa and I lived together most of college as well and are in the same sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta. Her nurturing personality meant that she always was the one to take care of me when I was sick in college! She is a true friend. She is so good about keeping in touch with me and all her other friends and I admire that about her. Lisa always gives good advice. Having already planned her own wedding and married for a few years, I count on her for lots of planning and newlywed relationship tips.

Rachel... I love this girl so freakin’ much! Rachel and I also lived together for most of college and are sorority sisters. Rachel is always fun to be around. She will definitely be one of the people having a ball at my wedding. In college, when life got a bit too dramatic, I went to her for a no-fluff opinion. She was always there for me when things were tough and I know that 30 years from now she will still be there for me. Side note: She also has impeccable taste. In college, I often went into her closet for clothes and shoes! So, I know she won’t let me make the female bridesmaids look stupid. J We were in the same pledge class in our sorority so I feel like I share a special bond with her. She has such a big heart and I am so lucky have her as a friend.

Last but not least, is my baby brother, Andrew/Andy. He will be an usher on my wedding day. I am pretty sure that anything wedding related very much bores my brother, but he is such a softy deep down that he agreed to be in my wedding. He is by far the funniest person I know. I think he developed his sense of humor to balance out how crazy his sisters were/are. I know I annoyed him a lot while we were growing up but I am very proud to have such a down-to-earth and caring brother. He sat through every single one of my dance recitals with minimal complaint. He was even my “date” to one of my sorority parties when a stupid guy backed out of going with me. Wes and my brother get along so well it is scary…mostly because they both know every quote in the show Family Guy. Ladies, he is single and you would be lucky to date such a nice guy!

These are a few of the people who helped make me the person I am today. I guess this means I will have to introduce the groomsmen and the two other ushers soon!

A shoe obsession.

I have a bad shoe addiction. I could spend hours looking at shoes. Can anyone relate? So, I was super excited to buy wedding shoes. After my wedding dress came in, all I could think was that I needed to buy shoes so we could get this baby hemmed! I found a great deal on some bright purple beauties and bought them immediately.

6pm.com

Cute, right? They fit the 3 inch heel limit that my mom and maid of honor, Colby, suggested for me when I bought my dress. They are PURPLE. But when I got them, they looked less than awesome. A little cheap.

Buying these shoes itched my wedding shoe scratch for about a month… then I was back to looking at more shoes. I was reading other brides buying super stylish fancy shoes. I was sooo jealous that they were using their wedding as an opportunity to get those dream shoes that they would never normally buy because they are expensive. Then, I came across these babies:

Shoes.com

In 4 inch glory, they encompass everything sexy and romantic. *Swoon*

I searched the internet for a week to find a way to bring down the price. One sale, one coupon and a free shipping promo code later, these pretty ladies were on their way to my front door.

The soles are made out of real leather so the longer you wear them, the better they feel. And, I am not lying to you in order to justify this purchase! I wore them for 5 hours cleaning my house one day just to prove to myself that I would wear these heels for the majority of the wedding day.

I feel that I won’t change my mind about these shoes. But, that doesn’t mean I won't look at investing in a late night wedding party shoe with a shorter heel.

Zappos.com

Or a pretty wedding shower flat.

Zappos.com

I know Wes is rolling his eye about this. But, I would like to say….how Wes feels about buying fish and corals for his fish tank is how I feel about shoes. It is a good thing that even though we share finances that we have made sure each person can still indulge in their personal interests once in awhile.

His fish tank is a nice touch in the living room, though! 

Lavender and amethyst and grape, oh my.

In June, my wonderful to-be mother-in-law (MIL) is coming to Michigan with me so that we can go with my super awesome mom and get some wedding stuff done. I don’t go to Michigan very often so it is going to be a bit of a wedding marathon. My goals are to show my MIL the venue, book a photographer, get my first dress fitting done, have my gorgeous maid of honor try on a few (ok, a lot) of bridesmaid dresses, book the florist, pick out linens and try some CAKE. Yum.

I started to book appointments and realized very quickly that I was going to have to be able to share my wedding vision with strangers in a quick and simple way so that they can help me have that beautiful day I picture in my head. I told the wonderful ladies at Waldenwoods (our venue) that I wanted the guest table linens to be white and the sweetheart table, cake table, guestbook tables to have purple table linens. My wedding colors are gray and “various” purples. I thought I was being clever by saying that I wanted a mix of a lot of different purple touches everywhere because then it wouldn’t matter if everything didn’t match exactly. The flowers are going to, then, bring together all the different shades. Reasonably, the ladies at Waldenwoods thought I should narrow down what kind of linen (satin, taffeta, etc.) and type of purple (muted, bright, pale, etc.) I was looking for so that that Lorrie from Special Occasions didn’t have to bring over a thousand examples.

I was a bit overwhelmed by this… I am not sure why. I think it is because I actually had to start making decisions. After talking to Wes about my anxiety, I decided to pick out a few different purples that I definitely want represented on 6.22.12 so that when I pick out linens, neck ties and décor, it will be cohesive. You can buy color swatches online to give to your vendors for $10 a pop. Boo. OR, you can go to Home Depot and steal paint swatches. I proceeded to steal about 25 paint swatches while looking over my shoulder hoping that that paint department manager wasn’t looking at me funny. Here’s my stash:

Here’s the kicker. Here’s how much my guy loves me… Wes also thought of this brilliant idea and stole not a few purple swatches like I did, but EVERY SINGLE PURPLE and GRAY paint swatch in our local hardware store. A lady working at Home Depot did give Wes a weird look on his way out so he nervously said to her, “Wife is making us paint the house again.” Hahahahahahaha. He was so pleased with himself that he promptly dropped this pile on my lap when he got home:

Then, he was severely disappointed to learn that I also had gotten paint swatches. His effort was awesome, though, and I love him so much for it. Gold star, hunny. I am very lucky to have someone that cares about reducing my anxiety over wedding planning.

Working out the imperfections

I decided that all my posts should not be about flowers, cake and invitations. Particularly, because weddings aren’t really about all those details. To me, it is about two people coming together and committing to be partners in everything from then on out. I like the idea of looking back on these entries 50 years from now and seeing how Wes and my relationship evolved during this chapter in our lives.

No relationship is perfect. I think Wes and I understand this very well. And, the best relationships require effort every day. A relationship can either sink you or be the most rewarding part of your life. On the day that Wes proposed was the day that we decided that it was worth the effort and we wanted to make our marriage the best it could be.

Many churches require you to take courses to get you “ready” for your marriage. I love the idea of trying to work out the kinks and building a great foundation for the next few decades. We aren’t taking one of these courses because a close friend named Rebecca is going to marry us. She is Wes’s advisor. She has seen the evolution of our relationship from day 1….even pre-day 1. Also, Wes likes to share all the intimate details of our life with her (most of the time I don’t mind this), so she is in a unique position to lead of our ceremony. J

Usually these courses involve talking about children, money and how to share responsibilities. I think Wes and I have these things pretty much worked out: we want 2.5 kids, we would like more money, and I cook as long as he does the dishes and pretends to like everything I cook. Easy as pie, right?

Well, one thing that we aren’t always good at is communication. Most of the time, we are fine. But, when Wes is tired and I am hungry sometimes the conversation breaks down and we end up doing something that we have recently identified as “spaghetti talk”. Something like this:

Meg: Why don’t you understand everything that I think?
Wes: I think you don’t understand me!
Meg: Well, I resent that you think that I think that.
Wes: I don’t understand.

Then, I make my mad face:

Wes makes his defeated face……

Don’t worry we quickly made up on this trip in Traverse City, MI.

I digress. Back to my point. The conversation is unclear. In addition, these conversations end up being about trying to figure out what you are saying rather than being about the important issue that you should be talking about. Anyway, so we decided to buy a book about ways to better talk and listen to each other so that we can avoid situations like the one above. It is inevitable that bad things are going to happen and we are going to have to work it out together. This book is based on research done by a psychologist who conducted a study that showed that whether a newlywed couple will divorce or not can be predicted with 93% accuracy based on how positive or negative they are during the first 3 minutes of conflict discussion (Gottman et al. 1999). Crazy, huh?

We have just begun to read the book and I think it has helped facilitate a few conversations. So, A+ for us so far. It makes me very happy to know that on the day that we exchange vows that we will be even more prepared to deal with tricky situations as partners.

Did you all do something to prepare to for married life? Do you have any tips?

The countdown commences soon

Hello! There’s been some time in between my posts mostly because I have been busy. Super busy. But also, because there was nothing happening that was wedding related. That is soon to change. I thought having a nice and long engagement would allow me to have all the time in the world to get things done. However, the reality is that it is too soon to do most of the stuff and my groom is not notorious for planning way in advanced anyway.

It is going to be May in a few days which means that soon it will be a year until our wedding. I know a year sounds like a long time, but when the wedding is going to be in another state from which I live and because I work all the time, I have to be very strategic about when I can meet with vendors and get dress fittings and what not. In addition, I am going to be in Finland from August to the end of September studying in another lab so I lose that precious time. Even though my feelings are mixed about it, I am excited to go to Europe again.

So, I sat down the other day to make the calendar. It was a great idea if I do say so myself because the groom will know exactly when I am allowed to bug him about certain details. (Note: I am exaggerating…Wes has been great with planning. It is just hard for him to match my wild passion for table linens and hair pieces. Haha.) Also, I feel like I less apt to forget to make something or check on something with this almighty calendar.

Why should I be so worried about forgetting something, you ask? Well. Because I am crazy. I feel this drive to match all those super cute weddings out there without having to take out a second mortgage. I want to have my wedding featured somewhere because it was an awesome wedding for a fraction of the price! Therefore, I am making a lot of things myself. Since getting engaged March of 2010, I have researched what I want to do and the cheapest way to do it all. Here’s a list (likely incomplete) of all the things I hope to DIY:

Invitations

Save the dates

Menus

Programs

Table numbers

Seating chart

Dress rehearsal invites

From Project Wedding

Fabric flower pomanders, I had to throw pic of these in here ….aren’t they cute?

I stole this idea from this blog

Hair flowers

Half of the centerpieces

Signs

Guestbook

Initials for our bride and groom chairs

Possibly some ribbon wands… I will explain later

Out of town guest bags

My mom talked me out of making:

All the centerpieces and bouquets

My own cakes and cupcakes

I do have to say that I know that one of my bridesmaids who got married a few years ago accomplished a lot of these things while in college and in medical school. We’ll see.

I might not get most of these things done. No matter what, it is going a good day. J