Fighting traditions

When I was first beginning to image what I would look like on my wedding day, I was very sure that I was NOT going to wear a veil. Veils bothered me. First of all, I have a hard time rationalizing spending the money for a piece of fabric glued to a hair comb. Also, I don’t like the idea of being portrayed as innocent, which maybe stems from working in a career where women aren’t always taken as seriously if they come off as too naïve or girly. I also don’t like the idea of being offered to the groom which historically is what the whole veil/blusher thing represented. And if we are being honest, I like going against the grain sometimes. Not wearing a veil was a good way for me to be nontraditional.

Yet, I find myself with a veil to wear on my wedding day! And, you want to know why? (Say yes.) Well, because wedding dress consultants at those fancy salons are VERY good at their job. My dress ended up being the first dress I tried on. I loved it, but I obviously wanted to compare it to others. After about ten dresses, I came back to the first one and the lady helping us snuck off to go grab wedding accessories to “jack” me up as they say on “Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta”.

Anyone else seen every episode of this show?

 When she planted that veil on my head, I just felt so right. I loved everything about it. I was sold. Obviously, the consultants do that to because it makes you go ga-ga over your dress and buy it immediately. Well, it worked too well on me because I bought the dress and the same veil she put on me.

I have to admit, I laughed at myself a bit for getting so caught up in the moment that I bought the veil right then and there. I can’t really blame myself – veils can be super romantic…

Source

 After taking some time to think about why I ended up with a veil, though, it occurred to me that I am wearing it because it makes me feel bridal. Veils don’t represent what they used to. They are used because it is a piece of fashion that can help highlight the bride. That is truly the most important part of selecting your wearing gear – whether those pieces make you feel special. I think a bride should wear whatever she wants to ensure she feels right. Whether it is traditional or not.

The good news is that I have had no dress or veil regrets even though I bought my dress two years ago. I have my first dressing fitting in early April so hooray for that!

Cupcakes anyone?

A long time ago Wes and I decided that cake wasn't all that important. I don't know why, but we have never really been thrilled with wedding cake. We like cake a lot, don't get me wrong, but spending tons of money on decorated cake wasn't a priority. I was thinking that I would make some simple cakes myself and set them out on pretty cake stands, like these:

Source

Then, my mom reminded me that I was putting a lot of work on myself the week before my wedding. I don't know when or why, but somehow after that we all started talking cupcakes. I was pretty sure I wanted to use a local bakery from my hometown so last June we drove down the road and picked up a whole array of flavors to try. My future mother in law was visiting Michigan for a girl's weekend so Wes wasn't there to try them but when we visited Michigan again in September he got to try all the flavors plus a few more.

What I like about doing cupcakes is that we can have lots of flavors at the wedding. I was thinking 5 flavors should do the trick. But, how to pick the flavors? Well, that sunny afternoon back in June I made my family sit down and vote on each cupcake flavor. There was some resistance at first, but no one can refuse cupcakes! 

It was lots of fun, although some people did NOT play by the rules... We were all supposed to vote from 1 - 10 with 10 being the best, but my brother gave negative scores, scores above 10 and also scores with decimal points. He was making us all laugh needless to say. The scoring system didn't work out very well because of my lovely brother, but there were some standout favorites.

 

I think we'll do a bride's choice, a groom's choice and then the other 3 will be the ones with the top scores. What do you think? Are you up for some tasty cupcakes?

Updates!

Hello all! Have you looked at the calender lately? Wes and I have less than 4 months until we get married. WHEN did that happen?

I wanted to let you know that I updated the blog and wedding website a bit.  You can now get email updates for when I upload a blog post. All you have to do is enter in your email on the right hand side of the screen. Also I have added a few more pages to our wedding website. So, please check them out!

www.weddingwire.com/megandweswedding

Email me if you need the password again. :)

DIY: Flameless candles

Do you remember my mercury glass pillar candle holders? Well, it only makes sense to have pillar candles to go with them. Only one problem, no open flame is allowed at Waldenwoods. Boo. After considering our options, we decided flameless candles might be a good option, but they are so darn expensive. My mom and I found ivory flameless candles at Sam's Club for a killer price. Ivory isn't one of our colors, so I tried to paint them. Just so you know, neither frost paint or white paint work well. It ends up just looking like a pillar candle painted white. In other words, it looked stupid. Plus, the flamess candles glowed fake orange. Double bummer. I studied the construction of the flameless candle and convinced myself that I could make one for cheap. It was a success!


Supplies:

white pillar candles about 3 inches wide - Michaels (USE YOUR COUPONS!)
Electric drill
1 or 1 1/2 inch spade drill bit
SOFT white LEDs - like these
Lithium CR2032 batteries - like these
Toothpicks
tape


We drilled a hole using a spade drill bit into each pillar candle from the top. We have pillar candles about 6 inches tall and we drilled about halfway down. We tried both the 1 inch and 1 1/2 inch and we liked the 1 1/2 inch better.

Put two of the soft white LEDs so that the pins straddle the lithium battery. Tape the LED pins and a the tip of a toothpick to the battery so everything stays together, like so:

Put your LED into the hole of the candle and push the toothpick into the wax so the LEDs stays upright. DONE.

Full light:

Medium Light:

Dark:

The only bad thing is that you can't easily turn them on and off, so I will have to assemble them the morning of the wedding. Not bad for a cheap DIY project!

Saving for a (hopefully) sunny day.

I have been thinking a lot lately about money and how finances work in relationships. Obviously, no financial plan is the right one, per se,  and, what works largely depends on the couple… and even if a financial plan works, it is never without its faults. Love is a powerful card, but when you aren’t on the same page with your goals, money issues can trump all.  

It was a choice by both of us to save money for this wedding. We want certain things for our wedding and we believe those things are, for the most part, our responsibility. As I said before early when I started blogging about this experience, I was shocked about how much weddings cost. A wedding definitely doesn’t have to cost very much. I am so happy for couples that have found a way to keep their wedding under $5000! Click here for a good example! I wish I had found a way to have everything we wanted for that price, but that was not going to happen. And, we are having a big wedding because this is one of those things in life worth celebrating.

I have now seen what the cost is of each part of our wedding day. I have worked very hard to find the best price for everything. And, I have (sort of) accepted that this is what a stack of paper costs….this is what food costs…this is what a person’s time is worth... this is what MY time and peace of mind is worth. What I am trying to say is if something truly does cost X and you really want that something, then you have to pay X to have it for your wedding. Knowing all of this and knowing that I don’t have to have it for my wedding, I don’t feel like I can complain about the cost of a wedding anymore.

To have the things we want, we have been saving our butts off.  It has been sort of difficult to limit our social lives in this way for so long. Coupons have helped. JI just found out that if you go to Target.com that you can print out so many coupons for just about everything to take with you to the store. I. love. Target. (Almost as much as I love Michaels.)

I truly believe saving for our wedding has brought us closer together as well. We are definitely on the same page. We agreed on a savings goal and we talk about how we are doing at meeting that goal at least once a month. We both want to be good savers even after the wedding. It is very comforting to know that I have a partner who cares as much about making sure we save for what we want and that we are financially secure. Wes is going crazy right now worrying about getting a job. (PLEASE New Jersey, give him a job!) We also both want balance in our lives. We said way back in 2010 that we didn’t want saving for the wedding to result in us having no life at all. I think we have done well with that.  The most significant thing is that I am so proud of us for saving as much as we have. We have worked and will continue to work hard. I am very confident that each time we set a goal that we will both work equally to meet it.

We have considered the difficult question of whether our relationship can withstand life’s tests (illness, children that take after their mother haha, our own insecurities, other unforeseeable events). What I know for sure is that we can and want to work together through everything. For that reason, whenever I wonder about those difficult questions, I feel confident that we have something great and that will continue to be great as long as we put in the effort.

When to say "I don't" to DIY

I love a good DIY project, but not when it looks cheap. I truly believe it is my life mission of mine to make my clothes, jewelry, house décor, wedding décor, etc look expensive but in a super cost effective way. However, there’s a balance. If something is going to be cheap but look cheap then I don’t want it. I spend a lot of time researching everything I buy because I want to make sure I am spending my money wisely. I am not opposed to spending more when it means I am getting a higher quality item, but sometimes it is not worth it! And, most the time, I can find or make something that does the same thing but for cheaper. I mean, seriously, I can’t imagine spending more than $20 for mascara. Dior mascara users – I’m talking to you! Okay, I’ll admit I have been eyeing the Dior Iconic mascara for myself, but I would feel so guilty spending that much for mascara. I guess I would spend that much if someone promised me that it wasn’t made by small children in a third world country and that the packaging was biodegradable…

Getting back on track, let’s talk mercury glass. Oh, that beautiful mercury glass. Real mercury glass is super expensive. It was very popular to have mercury glass in the early 20^th century because it looked like silver but was cheaper. Over years, the faux silver finish in mercury glass flecks away leaving that beautiful old vintage appearance. These vintage pieces come with a vintage price tag. There are processes that mimic this effect, but even fake mercury glass is expensive. Call me crazy, but I am not spending $3.20 plus tax and shipping for each FAUX mercury votive. This was the cheapest I could find online.

Luna Bazaar

So, DIY it, right? There are so many tutorials online on how to make your own mercury glass. Here’s the best one tutorial that I have found from Take the Side Street blog.

Here’s my tips:
I tried spraying vinegar on the glass first before you spray the paint. That just makes the paint run. Spray the vinegar after you paint the inside.

Rub away the paint unevenly to mimic the real thing.

Make sure you have lots of time. I tried it once and here’s what it looked like:

Blah. It looks okay, but when you put a candle in it, it looks cheap. Remember, I hate cheap looking things. I think if I spent a little more time painting it and only used the vinegar after, I am sure could get it to look really good. However, I am sort of impatient and I want 54 votives so I found that this project was too time consuming for just an okay result. Plus, the spray paint isn’t super cheap. For reference, I found mine on Amazon for around $11 for a little can.

I was this close to abandoning my mercury glass wedding fantasy until I found mercury glass votives at Michaels. Sound familiar? Yep, I got all my other candles at Michaels, too! So, I strutted my bad thrifty self into Michaels with my 40% coupons and walked out with my mercury votives (over the course of several weeks). Best part was that with the coupon they were about $.85 for each mercury glass votive. They come in packs of six. I’ll get some votive candles through quickcandle.com to put inside. Behold, inexpensive pretty mercury glass!

DIY next to the Michaels one.

I also bought these tall mercury glass pillar candle holders, too.

Love 'em. Bonus? I get to sell these afterwards and get my money back. I like the thought of re-using wedding stuff and it makes me happy that another bride will get her mercury glass fantasy wedding, too.

LET THERE BE LIGHT

Something I want at our wedding is lots of candlelight. You can’t deny that it looks pretty. And, you can’t deny that everyone looks and feels a little more gorgeous in the warm wash of loveliness.

Photo from Kristen Taylor's blog.

Therefore, it was a must to get lots and lots of votive candles.

It you are a bride with very little extra time or interest, I have a few recommendations for you. Quickcandles.com and dlightonline.com! Super cheap bulk votive candles with both the glass and candle included. They were the cheapest prices I could find and please take my word for it: I did a lot of candle research.

My only problem with these candles is that the wax is not poured into the glass. I know, stupid details to most people, but I love the look of poured candles. (See picture above.) I thought very seriously about pouring my own candles. This blog post shows off how if you DIY, then you can pour the wax into any container you want.

From the blog: Mission: Wedding

Much prettier than just sticking a votive in a jar. And, it is certainly cost effective, but time consuming. I have no problem devoting time to wedding stuff, but I am a girl with a job and a part time job, so I pick my wedding battles. My challenge, then, was how to buy poured candles for a cheap price. I never thought this would be possible, but it was just as cheap to buy poured candles from Michaels as it was to buy those bulk candles online… with one caveat:

http://www.retailmenot.com/

Can we just a have moment of silence for this awesome piece of awesomeness? *pregnant pause* Seriously, if I ever catch any of you walking into a Michaels without one of these babies in your hands, I am going to hunt you down.

I couldn’t buy all the candles at once, though, because of the “one coupon per person per day” rule. So, these past months became known as “the great candle heist of 2011” in our household, and unfortunately it has extended into 2012. Every week, I (and sometimes Wes) take our 40% or 50% coupons to Michaels and buy candles.

A 12-pack of white votive candles = $7.99+tax… with 50% coupon it is $4.27 (NJ tax included). That’s $0.36 per candle, and there’s no shipping costs meaning I spent around $30 for 72 candles. BAM.

I seriously felt like I was stealing because it was such a good deal. I mean, it by no means trumps my mom who is the queen of finding deals. I beared witness to her once walking out of Old Navy with 3 blouses and 2 totes for the bargain price of $0.00. No joke.

Anywho, if you have the time and a desire for poured votive candles… go to Michaels. With a coupon. Happy couponing!