A really good day.

All these engagement pictures got me thinking about how we got engaged! I thought maybe you would all like to hear the story from my perspective. Wes's version is really short and completely takes all the magic out of that night so you don't get his version. :)

So, I got engaged in my sweatpants. I know, I know. Who wears sweatpants on such an important day? Let me explain…

To start: I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Wes was thinking of proposing. He is really bad at keeping things like that to himself. Sometime in early 2010 while at dinner with some friends, he blurted out to our friends that he loved me and he was going to propose to me one day. He’s a romantic show-off and likes to embarrass me when he has had a few glasses of wine. Later after ring shopping with his mom, he let it slip to me that he had done so. And, he had told me once that it was important to him to propose before April 2010 because he wanted to go to his 5 year college reunion with me as his fiancé. *Smile* Since I was expecting a proposal and it would make sense to wear really cute outfits every single time we went to dinner or whatever! I should have known Wes would propose when I least expected it.

You should also know that during Oct 2009-Dec 2010 was a somewhat difficult time in our lives. Various things happened that were just ridiculous. In addition, our schedules were crazy. I had really tough classes because I had just started a new stem cell traineeship and Wes was staying in Maryland for half of the work week for an internship in Washington DC. On top of it all, we had just bought a condo and moved in with each other which cued various relationship changes involving shared budgeting and division of household responsibilities. It was a weird time in our lives to say the least. I was anticipating one of the happiest days of my life while dealing with a lot of day to day stress.

The night Wes proposed to me, he was returning from a week-long stay in Maryland for the internship which also happened to be a difficult work week for me. In addition, for some strange reason I also decided to go on a “cleanse” that I do from time to time. The cleanse isn’t really a cleanse, but more of a week-long reminder of how I am supposed to eat all the time. For a whole week, I don’t consume gluten, bread, dessert, alcohol, salt, nuts, soy or dairy. All of these things in excess make me feel gross, so I cut them out from time to time to “reset”.  As an avid lover of cheese, Wes doesn’t like to eat with me during those weeks. Friday night was the last night of my commitment to the “cleanse”, so I planned on eating a gluten-free stir fry. My point is that I was not expecting a proposal that night. I mean, you are supposed to have some lavish dinner on your engagement night, right? Not so, for us.

I got home early… 5pm, yes that is early for me… in anticipation of Wes’s return. I threw on my favorite pair of ratty holey gray sweatpants and picked up the condo a bit. Wes decided to stop by Walmart on his way home and pick up an outdoor patio set that we had ordered and had come in that day. When Wes arrived, he seemed really eager to put the patio set together. This seemed like a weird thing to focus on after being apart for a week, but when Wes gets an idea that he has to do something in his head, it is hard to change his mind. I started making our “cleanse-friendly” dinner. Which brings me to another reason why I wasn’t expecting a proposal…WHO makes their own engagement dinner? Apparently, I do.

Wes had set up the patio furniture inside in the living room and insisted that we eat on it in the middle of the living room. It was freezing outside, so we couldn’t eat out there, but Wes was adamant that the patio furniture should have a proper maiden voyage. Strangely, I understood that to him buying the furniture was part of the whole process of setting up our first home together.  So, I went along with it and set up dinner in the middle of the living room. I should have had my suspicions at that point, but one the other hand I had to practically force Wes away from his computer to come eat dinner. Needless to say, Wes was being very hot and cold, so a proposal was not on my mind.

I am making Wes sound terrible right now. He was being weird, but it turns out that it was because he was super nervous. When we sat down to eat, something flipped inside of him. He turned on music. He started being really attentive instead of focusing on weird things like patio furniture and sports news on his computer. Next thing I know, he is saying really sweet things. He started saying that he loved me and thought of me all the time when he was gone. And, that when he was driving home he heard a song on the radio which made him think of me and how our relationship has come to be. He took out his computer and started playing the song.



I listened carefully. He told me that the first verse reminded him of how I have struggled in the past with confidence, relationships and life in general, but now I have risen above it.  The song reminded me of the same thing as well. It made me think about how being happy seemed impossible at one point in my life, but how I had moved on from the past and had found solace and steadiness in my relationship with Wes. Wes then told me that the second verse reminded him of own struggles. He said that before he met me that it always seemed that happiness in the form of a relationship was always going to be out of reach for him, but that I had changed that.

The song ended and I was crying. It hit home in so many ways. I don't listen to country music so I had never heard the song. It made me so happy in that moment to think that because of Wes, I was in a much happier chapter of my life. It was then that Wes came over to my chair and kneeled in front of me. I thought he was coming over to comfort me. It never occurred that he was kneeling to propose. Silly me. He then said to me, “You saved me.”

I am not sure if Wes meant to refer to this of not, but all I could think about in that moments was something he had written to me, early  in our relationship, in the front cover of a book called The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean:

Before I fell in love with you, it was ‘acre after acre of sameness’. I had illusions of whom I would meet and how things would be – and when these consistently turned out to be just illusions, I began to think like Orlean – that maybe love is better in your head and that the actual experience will disappoint. I only wish Orlean could see the flower that you have come to symbolize in my life. No one could feel disappointed with what I’ve found with you.”

Wes then asked me if I would marry him. I fell apart and cried for what seemed like an hour. After a while, Wes asked me if my emotional response meant yes or no and all I could do was nod. A little while after I managed to say, “I promise to be a good fiancé.”

So, yes, I got engaged in my sweatpants on the most unlikely of nights. There was no fancy dinner. No standing on some tropical beach "The Bachelor/Bachelorette"-style. It just us hanging out on some patio furniture and it was more perfect than I could have ever imagined.

P.S. Happy birthday Wes!